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Bethany [userpic]

Boys are stupid (a story involving blood)

7th August 2009 (07:35)

Last night Mario was slicing potatos on the mandolin slicer for dinner. He was not using the guard. That is right you guessed it, he sliced the majority of the skin off the tips of two of his fingers. After putting on a bandaid, he then proceeded to finish cooking dinner, eat it, then give Connor a bath. After forgetting about the cuts, he put his hand in Connors warm bath water, causing them to gush blood again. He changed the band aids, but the new ones were soaked within five minutes.

I was concerned because there was so much blood that I couldn't tell how far he had cut into his fingers. He insisted that is was just the skin and not a big deal. However, as a diabetic with uncontrolled blood sugar he is going to take a long time to heal from this.

I wanted him to go to Urgent care. I even called the nurses help line that our insurance company provides and asked their advice. THEY wanted him to go to urgent care.

My darling husband refused. Instead he kept his hand elevated over his heart for more then a half hour at which point the bleeding finally stopped. Within a few minutes of bringing it down again it started seeping. We still haven't gone to urgent care . . .

Bethany [userpic]

Writer's Block: Fantasy Sports

4th August 2009 (20:24)

Imagine you manage a coven of baseball-playing vampires. The Cullen family is really strong this year and you want to bring in a ringer. Which currently active MLB baseball player do you sire?

Seriously? A Twilight question mushed together with a BASEBALL question? This was the best you could do? It's not even worth an answer. . .

Bethany [userpic]

My sweetie

27th July 2009 (07:05)

Happy 7th Wedding anniversary, my sweetie!

Bethany [userpic]

Writer's Block: Pick and Stick

24th July 2009 (06:57)

If you could only eat one kind of cuisine—Mexican, Thai, French, Italian, Indian, Chinese, etc.—for the rest of your life, which one would you choose?

Indian. There is such a wide variety of dishes in Indian cuisine and I think we only see a small percentage of them in restaurants here. I like them so much because they are very flavorful . . . and most of them include rice somehow. *sigh* I love rice.

Bethany [userpic]

On the job front

22nd July 2009 (18:40)

I submitted my resume yesterday to two ads on craig's list that were right up my alley. The first was a money laundering scam and the second was to work for a mortgage broker who has had his license revoked.

*head desk*

Bethany [userpic]

Wrung out

21st July 2009 (19:46)

You know how you can take a wet paper towel, wring it out and reuse it. That is how I feel. Like a paper towel that has been wrung out and reused a few to many times. I am bone tired, on the verge of bursting into tears, and angry. Very angry.

My sister Tera has used me up. I just get so angry when I see her, knowing that no matter what I do now, she has already bought her plane tickets to go back to Waco. I am consistently screwing up my life and my kids schedule in order to help her out (doctors visits, grocery store trips, taking the kids when she goes to therapy, ect.). It is all pointless. I have wasted so much of my family's money (mine and marios that is) and energy trying to help her out.

On top of that my dad has been in the hospital since Friday. He went to the emergency room with dangerously high heart rate (exceeding 140 beats per minute, normal is around 70) and blood pressure that was all over the map. My dad has a long history of heart disease starting in his teens and leading up to a quadruple bypass at 43 to where he is now, completely inoperable and trying to manage it with medication. He takes literally 20 different meds, all with side effects. Which is what landed him in the hospital for the 9th time in three years.

Today, while visiting him prior to his procedure a person a couple of rooms down from him coded. We heard them call the Code Blue and dragging the crash cart down the hall. We heard them working on the patient for nearly a half hour but it was unsuccessful. We got to see the faces of his or hers parents as they were lead into the room afterwards.

Finally, the procedure he was supposed to have yesterday, which got pushed back to today, got pushed back again to tomorrow. In a way it is a good thing, since they would only delay it if he is healthy enough for them to push it back. It is damned frustrating when it comes to my work schedule. I prefer to be there with my mom when they wheel him in, during the wait, and immediately after the angioplasty. It is heart rending to see my dad all laid out and pale on the operating table, when they let us in. . . I was going to take time off for comic con but can't now due to taking time off to be with my dad, well worth it but disappointing all the same.

I've had a shitty day, all. I know my LJ posts tend to be downers, I think I will try to post some of the happy stuff when it happens . . .

Bethany [userpic]

Money money money

19th July 2009 (09:28)

I long for the day that money won't be such an overriding worry. *sigh* Unfortunatly that means that I will have to go back to work full time and I was really hoping to start school in the fall. Right now we are cutting expenses like you wouldn't believe but business with Geek 4 Hire has fallen off so badly that we have actually had to cut back on expenses there as well. Which means less advertising which means less customers. But we really can't spend money we don't have, even on advertising.

I've been very picky about the jobs I apply to on Craigslist the last few weeks and I think I am just gonna have to get over that and start applying to any job I seem remotely qualified for.

This also puts a damper on our hopes to have another baby. There is no way I can work full time and breastfeed and I would hate to start a job only to give notice in a year or less. I am really hoping to start a career no just work a job. But careers are hard to come buy in the type of work i do if you don't have a degree. They usually don't care if you have a degree in basketweaving as long as you have one.

Sorry this is all an accumulation of frustration and dashed hopes. Now it is time to build some new ones . . .

Bethany [userpic]

So angry . . . frustrated . . .despaired

8th July 2009 (20:09)

I don't really know how I am feeling other then that it is bad.

My sister Tera has decided to go back to Waco and her boyffriend there.

Despite our advice and requests she has remained in contact with him, she even got in trouble at the shelter for being in contact with her abuser. My family and I have all spent thousands of dollars and lots of time and energy get her here, to help her out and to try and make life easier for her. But it just isn't working.

granted, it is not easy being a single mom. It is not easy having to rely on your family and welfare to get you through the day. Her kids have issues and while they have improved while they have been in California it just isn't enough for her to stay.

I think my mom hit the nail on the head, as part of living at Becky's House she has had to participate in therapy sessions and start dealing with her shit. I think that has been the hardest for her overall. So she is running away.

I am not even angry. I have lost all hope for her. That she will find a better life and that her kids will not be stuck in the same cycle that her birth parents left her in.

So this is what dispair tastes like . . .

Bethany [userpic]

The New Moon Trailer is out

29th June 2009 (19:33)

I have always been on Team Jaccob . . .


Bethany [userpic]

Fatigue does not equal depression thank you very much!

29th June 2009 (15:30)

Sheesh. I went to the doc because I am tired, so very tired. I fall asleep at work and have trouble staying awake in the car, I wake up tired and go to bed exhausted.

But the doctor heard only two words: miscarriage and fatigue. In his mind that equals depression and the fact that I have a history of depression that needed medication only confirmed it for him. I know what depression feels like, and this is not it.

*sigh* I was able to convince him to run some other blood tests (particularly my iron since I have always been boarderline anemic) and we made a follow up appointment for one month but I regret even telling him that I have a history of depression. I am afraid that it has labeled me in his mind and that will always be the conclusion he jumps to.

Even so I have made an appointment with my therapist to get checked out . . .